This Little Light of Mine, I'm Gonna Let It Shine

Oh beautiful Cambodia

2009-12-12T16:32:00.002-05:00

As I sit here in the Seoul airport I miss my kids sooo much. I also cant help to think about the sunset we watched the day after the leaving the kids sitting in the middle of the floating villages. We were in the middle of complete poverty... I am talking these little shacks on the water, where people had nothing, kids were so objectified as they swam up to the docks and to our boat begging for money for their family, and so many of the people missing arms, or legs, or even eyes. It was worse poverty along the water than I had seen along the roads. However, in the middle of all this we stopped the boat, floated in the middle of this huge lake (which resembled more of an ocean if you ask me) and watched the breathtaking red sun set over this beautiful country. I have never seen anything like it in my life. You cant see this anything close to this in America. It was a life awaking moment in the wake of missing the children of the orphanage watching this most amazing sunset... like it was God reminding me "everything will be alright Nat, I'm right here with you."

Leaving Is the Hardest Part

2009-12-12T04:36:00.000-05:00

Well today is Saturday. I am sorry I havent written in a few days... internet has been hard to come by and I have been trying to sleep as much as possible... my body is tired... and SAD!
Leaving the orphanage we harder this year than it was last year. I know I will return again to see my kids, but its so hard leaving. They get very emotional and my little Chhing said "I love you Nat" in between tears as I got on the bus. I am the most happiest when I am in Cambodia at New Life Orphanage. I dont really know how to explain it other than its funny the way people write on my facebook about I am so good for what I am doing, and that its so special to the kids that I am showing them Gods love, etc, etc... BECAUSE I dont know if I bring anything to the table compared to what these kids do to me. They are GODS LOVE! Most of them have no parents or a parent or parents that cant afford to take care of them, or in some circumstances sold by their parents... THEY have sufffered so much, yet they are so happy! They our LOVED BY GOD so much that every move they make, or every breath they take is something to celebrate because its a gift from God... they just get it! They get what takes most of us a lifetime to realize!!! They praise the Lord and bring thanks to the Lord every minute of everyday!!!! They teach me what it means to be a Christian and have a "real, no questions asked" relationship with the Lord. They are intoxicating and you can see the way God loves each and everyone of them in their eyes!!! I cant wait to share pictures and videos with you once I get back to the states.

I miss them so much... I sit here and can picture their faces and voices in my mind and it makes me cry. I think "Its not fair I live so far away from them..." but according to them this is all Gods plan. It makes us realize not to take anything for granted and the time we get together is just a glimpse of what Heaven will be like... simple, beautiful, peaceful, and full of UNCONDITIONAL and powerful love. Love that makes you a more simple, beautiful, and peaceful person who understands the best part of the day is the understanding that its a gift from our most Heavenly father!!!

Please keep the children and staff of New Life Orphanage in your prayers everyday! They are short on funding going into next year and need our prayerful support. Stay tuned to my blog for the days to come as I will post pictures, videos, and links to different ways you might be able to get involved with the 40 most wonderful children you will ever meet!!!

"... He called a little child and had him stand among them and He said, 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven." - Matthew 18: 2-4

Waste Not Want Not

2009-12-09T19:32:00.002-05:00

Went to the Cambodian BBQ tonight with the kids. It was an all you can eat buffet and the kids literally ate the entire 3 hours we were there. I hope, I hope, I hope they don't have tummy aches today!!!! It was just so funny to see them going crazy for the meat... I guess all they eat 3 times a day is rice so all the meat and vegetables were like Heaven to them. There was even fried FROG!!! That was Chhing's favorite! :-) He spells his name with a "g" now because thats how I spelled it last year! LOL
Talk about unconditional love... I sat across from him watching him eat FRIED FROG and still love him with all my heart!
Anyways, to say the least, this was the best thing for the kids... they were all in HEAVEN! :-)
I cant believe today is the last day... it will be even harder this year. Pray for me.

Movie Night at New Life

2009-12-08T09:33:00.003-05:00

A great day at the orphanage... followed by a wonderful MOVIE NIGHT! We brought the glow necklaces, chex mix, and soda's for the kids! They were in Heaven! And speaking of Heaven, God showed up... listen to this:
So it all starts with my laptop hasnt powered with the converters me or Kira have since we got here and i was the team member who volunteered my computer to plug into the projector for movie night. So we brought it to the orphanage hoping it would power on with Sandra's converter... and well it did! So movie night was going to be a success. Well... not so fast! We got everything hooked up and put the DVD in my laptop... and it wasnt reading the DVD. So we tried another... nope... and another... nothing. So we went to plan B which was Carries computer. Carrie's computer played the DVD's but we couldnt attach them to the projector... they were all Disney movies and Disney puts some kind of restriction from playing DVD's to a projector. Oh my... so we told Patrick (our leader) movie night wasnt going to happen and he goes "Oh! I got a bootleg copy of Ice Age I recorded from TV a couple weeks ago to leave behind for the kids once we left. Sure enough, we put it in Carrie's laptop and it worked! :) WOW!!!! Everything happens for a reason huh? A reason that only God creates!!!!
AMAZING!!!!

Anyways, the kids loved the soda, the snacks, and the movie! They probably couldnt understand the words, but they sure loved that little muscrat guy running around the whole movie trying to get his acorn! :-) Chinnh, Son, and Sryley cuddled up with me the whole time. Chinnh always had one hand on me even when he was eating or drinking! My little precious guy... I just starred at him the whole time wondering how in the world i can get him home with me. I could picture myself cuddled up on the couch with him... or any of those kids for that matter! :-)

Well I am off to bed America. Good night!!!!

GODS TEAM YEAH!

2009-12-07T18:41:00.002-05:00

Well yesterday was much success!!! We had a blast and the kids love cheering with POM-POMS and the noise makers (which of course gave me a huge headache)! We divided them into the teams... the older boys we put onto the red team refused to be on the red team sooo... the poor red team are girls and little boys and the green and blue teams are stacked! LOL!!! Its not very fair, but so funny when they start competing in field day activities. They get pretty competitive! I LIKE IT! :-) Chinnh got very mad when Takna dropped the ball (the contest was which team could keep the ball in the air the longest with everyone on the team hitting the ball). It kind of surprised me how frustrated he got, but it only lasted a second... I made them take a picture together and then "hug it out". They were both laughing!
Today we are learning about "team Noah" with a skit and some crafts about Noah and the Ark and we are learning about "team Jonah"with a skit and some crafts about Jonah and the WHALE! The kids will love it!
Of course this year, my favorite part of everyday is the worship time. They are singing louder and more beautiful than ever! Sandra, who is in chrage of all the worship this year is doing a great job with the kids. She taught them a Hip Hop dance to Kirk Franklin's "Revelation." Its hilarious!!! They love it... note to self, next year bring more HIP HOP music! THEY LOVE IT! I got some of course on my lap top, but I'm not sure if Kanye West is appropriate orphanage music! Ha!
Movie night is tonight too... this should be fun. We get to hang out with the kids until like 9pm.
I will probably have fallen asleep, but just being in their presence is enough for me!
Unti lnext time... XOXOXO

Clean House

2009-12-06T19:28:00.004-05:00

So yesterday was amazing! I was the first one off the bus and the kids came RUNNING!!!! They all knew who i was and all I could hear was "Nat! Nat! Nat! We Missed You Nat!" Oh it was so sweet. All their hugs and tears made this long journey over here again soooo worth it! Pherong (the wife of the Ratha... this is the couple who run the orphanage) gave me big rug and said Öh Nat, we miss you sooo much!" She just held me tight for what felt like a few minutes. She wouldnt let go! It was so sweet! Chinnh was here, but didnt run up to me, he watched from the sidelines... I think in disbelief maybe? I went and picked him up, of course I got a little emotional and he just smiled real BIG and hugged me soooo tight!!!! At church with the kids, they all performed for us! Then we went back to the orphanage for the afternoon and made tie die shirts that we are all going to where at the Christmas party! This was hilarious and MESSY! The kids didnt get that they were supposed to let their shirts dry all tied up in the ruber bands and started on doing them and putting more paint all over them! HAHA! They were having so much fun. We had all different color die and they all wanted YELLOW! This was so funny! They love the brightness of the color I guess, a few of the kids did their WHOLE SHIRT YELLOW! The day flew by. It is so good to be back. My Chinnh, Sun, and Ya are still here of course and attached at my hip. There is a new little girl she is 5 or 6 and wears pigtails and the BIGGEST SMILE ON HER FACE! :-) Her name is Osa and she got to the orphanage a month or 2 ago. She is so precious and just runs up to hug you and almost knocks you over even though she is so small. When we were doing introducitons all the kids would stand up and say their name, what they like to do, and what they want to be when they grow up. Most kids said they like to play football or read or study the bible. And when they grow up they want to be teacher, or doctor, or nurse, or preacher... well little Osa said Ï like to clean house and when i grow up i want to clean more house!"LOL!!!! And she had the biggest smile on her face the whole time! She is so stinkin cute!

Oh its so good to be back!

Today we are introducing our theme for the week... I'm on Gods Team! We will show up to the orphanage today running off the bus with pom poms, noise makers, whistles! We will teach the kids some cheers and do some singing and dancing! Its gonna be a PEP RALLEY!!! Then we will divide the kids up in 4 teams (Team Noah, Team Jonah, Team Daniel, and Team David) based after Bible characters on "Gods Team." We will make team penants and team visors! We are very excited for this and the kids have NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE IN FOR!!!!

I already have some great pictures and some great video that i cant wait to share with all of you! Thanks for all your prayers and support. I love and miss all of you... and WISH ALL OF YOU COULD BE HERE WITH ME! :-) Keep praying for me, my team, and these kids!!! Oh man... I cant even imagine leaving them again this year... I cant even start thinking about it... tear.

All my love to all of you!

Plane Ride

2009-12-04T03:30:00.002-05:00

Well... 16 hours later we made it to Seoul, South Korea. In about an hour we will board the plane for Cambodia. Then 6 hours after that we will be there!!!! It will be about midnight before we get to the hotel (noon your time).

On the plane ride I watched My Sisters Keeper and Time Travelers Wife... um hello... the nice Korean guy sitting next to me must have thought i was a basket case - i couldn't stop the tears!!! I guess it was yet another reminder to me of how precious life is!!!!! How lucky am I? I'm healthy and have a support system between family and friends that many can only wish for. I get to travel across the world to help these sweet orphans who the majority of them have been betrayed by those who should love them most... their parents. They have been sold into work or the horrifying sex industry that plagues south east Asia. If thats not the case, they have lost their beloved parents to disease or to a land mine that still haunts the Cambodian people who work in the fields. I am given an opportunity to bring them love. Love from our most Heavenly Father. Love in which last year brought even the young boys taught never to show any type of emotion to tears. I cant wait to hold them all in my arms! Thank you to all of you who made this trip possible for me through your support financially and even more importantly PRAYERFULLY! I need your prayers... for the next 10 days I need your prayers not really for myself, but for these kids. We are all so rich in blessings, even on our worst days we are sooo blessed! However, with all this being said i do not want to take away the blessings these children have recieved at New Life Orphanage. They too are so incredibly blessed. I would be lying if I said they havent dealt with horror and tragedy in their childhood that most of us wont ever experience in our entire life, but they have been rescued... they have been saved! The people who have dedicated their lives to these orphanages in Cambodia have brought them to a safe harbor by God's grace and miracles. They have come to find Jesus and they are loved! My kiddos at New Life Orphanage are so blessed too! We are all blessed and after my ridiculously long plane ride of incredibly touching movies thats what I am reminded of!

Haha! I am also very delirious! So I hope all this makes sense!!!!
I will post again from Phenom Penh before we leave for Battambang tomorrow! Ciao!

“Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

2009-12-02T14:19:00.001-05:00

TOO HEAVY

2009-12-01T08:47:00.002-05:00

So my heart is light... Im so excited to take off in 2 days!

BUT... my bag is very heavy! ;-) I am trying to bring as much clothes over there, not really for myself, but for those kiddos, some Red Bull for myself, and some Christmas presents for my cousins from their sister back here in the states... soooo all this creates an extremely HEAVY bag! I am weighing it tonight... please pray its less than 50 lbs! :-)

Here goes nothing.....

COUNTDOWN IS ON... 10 DAYS!!!

2009-11-23T13:43:00.003-05:00

WOW!! I cant believe the time is here again! I met with my team one last time yesterday and we packed up most of our supplies. We had to pack and repack our boxes a few times because we kept going over the 44lbs weight limit! :-)

I can not begin to express my excitement I have to return to this beautiful country to see those beautiful children!!!

Safe travels home to all this Thanksgiving season... check back soon I will update more later!!!

"Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ..." - Ephesians 5:20

MORE CAMP WINSHAPE

2009-07-31T15:46:00.003-04:00

Team BLOG... and team building at Camp Winshape

2009-07-27T10:58:00.007-04:00

This is my 2009 Team Blog that I have put together. I will post here... and so will the rest of my team! http://christmasincambodia2009.blogspot.com/

I AM SO PUMPED TO BE GOING BACK... 130 DAYS IN COUNTING!!!!

We did a team building retreat at Camp Winshape on July 25th. It was a gorgeous day... and with the low and high ropes course I learned so much about my team and myself.

Camp Winshape is at Berry College (which up until my high school graduation when my Dad told me I needed to stay in state) is where I thought I was going to go to College. I have loved Berry College since I have been a little girl attending soccer camp there. I thought it was really neat how God brought me back to this campus with this group of people. Its such a gorgeous campus and place in this world... as I listened to "interesting facts" about my teammates I started thinking about what kind of person I would be if I attended this school... I wondered where I would be right now... I wondered if I would have been close friends with our guides who were walking us through each activity. I felt a feeling of regret come through but almost as quick as that feeling swept in, peace overflowed. I KNOW God had a reason that I didn't come here. I KNOW God has a reason I went to UTC. I KNOW God has a reason that I moved to Atlanta. I KNOW God has a reason that I am going back to Cambodia again this year. I may not understand the reasons yet... BUT I TRUST IN HIM COMPLETLY... even if its hard at times! :-)

With all that being said! We had a great time on Saturday and I can't wait to take part on this journey with my new team!
Here are some pictures...

December 3rd - 13th, 2009

2009-03-31T12:28:00.002-04:00

I'M GOING BACK!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for all your prayers and support... I AM ECSTATIC!!!

This is a great day to give thanks to our BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL LORD! :-)

I applied for the Cambodia trip for next year

2009-01-16T12:06:00.001-05:00

Keep me in your prayers... I long to be back in Cambodia! I know its in God's hands, but I hope and pray he picks me AGAIN! :-)

Madeline Noel Chhing Lawler

2008-12-29T09:23:00.004-05:00

So I got a new little puppy for Christmas. She is really gorgeous... I thought once I got her I wouldn't miss these kids so much... but no! My heart still aches for them... but it is good to have a little friend to lick my tears and give me kisses! :-)

Here are some pictures of Maddie:

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP

2008-12-19T10:05:00.003-05:00

I wanted to take some time to thank each and every one of you for all your support! I had such an amazing time... but even more importantly here is a list of things you helped give to the kids

A five month supply of vitamins for all 36 kids in the orphanage
A five + month supply of fever/pain medicine
A TV and a DVD player (you should have seen the kids watching the movie Cars...they were mesmerized). The TV will be used as entertainment, of course :), but also for educational videos
Posts, a net and a ball for a volleyball court (they were playing the next morning at 8am :)). Volleyball is the sport in Cambodia
A digital camera they can use to send us pictures of the kids
Christmas gifts for 100 kids in the surrounding village. The gifts included crayons, pencils, pens, highlighters, erasers, sharpeners, bracelets and candy. The kids at the orphanage invited the kids from the surrounding village to a birthday party for Jesus and give them the gifts. They did this as outreach and to show others God's love and generosity for us.
Lots of love and attention through songs, games, crafts and sports

The kids were so excited and soooo gracious!!!! They had the time of their life!!!

YOU WERE THEIR CHRISTMAS GIFT THIS YEAR!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

My heart remains in Cambodia

2008-12-17T09:40:00.002-05:00

Here is a preview of some of my pictures! I MISS THEM SOOO MUCH!!!

2008-12-14T20:48:00.017-05:00

All the kids at the orphanage!
Son, Chhing, and Sryley
My little Chhing!
Helping Kea color!
Adorable!
Diamonds on our foreheads!
I love you Chhing!
Son and Chhing!
Goofing around!
Jesus fed 5,000 with just 2 fish!
Tey and Takna - best buds!
PEACE!!!!
I love your smiles!
I love you!
The girls blowing kisses after we gave each other makeovers!
Rotha and Chhing
Miss Priss!!!!
My Chhing!
Chhing, Vidiya, and Ratha

Yes Jesus Loves Me... about an hour before we left!

To see all my pictures - they will be on FACEBOOK or go here:
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/sredir?uname=NatalieJLawler&target=ALBUM&id=5279834169351873425&authkey=F9ZGf9piBiU&feat=email

A video slideshow and even more pictures are to come!!!! Enjoy these for now!!!!!

God Bless!

The 8th Wonder of the World

2008-12-12T23:39:00.002-05:00

Hello all! Sorry its been a little while since you have heard from me. We left Battambang yesterday and traveled to Siem Reap where Anghor Wat is. It recently has become the 8th wonder of the world. It is beautiful... and all the other temples are breathtaking. But I still feel sad. I miss those kids so much... especially Chhinh. :-(
I also have gotten pretty sick. Thank the Lord I my doctor wrote me a rx for a zpac! I couldnt go to the market last night and shop and I couldnt go see the sunrise over Anghor Wat this morning becuase I have been sick. Dont worry mom... it could be way worse... I think its just a mixture of the food, the dust in the air, and just being emotionally drained. I am feeling a lot better since I started my zpac! :-)
Thanks for all your prayers... I miss you alll and cant wait to see you!
xoxo

The Hardest Part

2008-12-11T06:58:00.002-05:00

Oh my... well thats it! We are back!
That was an emotionally draining, very sad evening at my orphanage. The kids cried very hard... which surprised me. I thought I would be the only one to cry. They cried and cried and hugged and hugged. They are sooo sweet! One of them named Chihhah told my team are HIS PARENTS! WOW! Another said she was so blessed to have us in her life and to please, please come back - she said all this in between tears. The older ones, even the boys that were 16 and 17 cried. It truly broke my heart! My Chhing he cried when I held him and we sang "Yes Jesus Loves Me." He held my hand so tight. A lot of the kids wrote me letters. One of them asked me in his letter to be his God Mother. Another told me he wanted to be a doctor. These kids are just so amazing. I cant believe I cant go back to see them... until next time I make it out here. I miss them sooo much already! WOW! I have to go... see you soon.

pictures

2008-12-11T00:58:00.002-05:00

Oh and I have taken over 300 hundred pictures of the kids and this country! More will definately come when we are at Anghor Wat too!
The internet is too slow to post... but I promise by Sunday night I will have them posted to view! I cant WAIT FOR YOU TO SEE THEM... to see my Chhing and Son and Syrley and Vidiya and Vandam... gosh... just all the kids!!!!! YOU WILL FALL IN LOVE!!!!!
Ok... we are loading the bus... PLEASE PRAY FOR ME AND STRENGTH THAT I CAN BE STRONG IN THE GOODBYES!!!!!! :-(
God Bless!

Please Pray for Me and My Team

2008-12-11T00:45:00.003-05:00

So its lunch time on Thursday... I am sorry that I did not write yesterday... I actually did and then lost networkd connection... so my whole post was lost! :-(

We go back in about 15 minutes to spend our last afternoon with the kids. We are having a Birthday Party for Jesus in light of the coming Holiday... plus all the Bible stories we have done this week has lead up to this BIG PARTY! We are inviting all the village children. So we will have the 40 orphanage kids and about 100 village kids! We are very excited. We will have cake and all the orphanage kids decorated with streamers and ballons already!

I am trying to enjoy this time with the kids... but I cannot explain my anxiety I have right now to leave these amazing children. I have even gotten so close to the older children. I thought in my life I have loved with my whole heart, but I have been so wrong. The love and affection I have for these kids is overwhelming. My heart is already breaking... I feel it in my chest. I have never been so sad I dont think. I pray to God to not let this kind of feeling mess up my whole day because I am dreading the goodbye. So please help me if you are up late and reading this. Please pray for me and my team to have a wonderful afternoon with these children and JUST TO FOCUS ON WHATS IMPORTANT... these kids are in love with the same God as I am. I need to relish in that and just learn from them and their joy. As for the goodbye's I know its going to be hard... part of me feels like maybe I wasnt cut out for this trip... but hopefully in God's grace I will get through it! I have a good team with me. I am strong... and I WILL COME BACK AND SEE THESE KIDS AGAIN. I hope some of you will join me next time.

In the meantime... I know you all have already given so much. However, my team bought a big screen tv and dvd player for the kids. So once I get home I am going to print out pictures and send clothes and DVD's... so if you have either DVD's or clothes you dont use any more please gather them up for me. Thank you so much for all your prayers and support already. I am truly blessed to have family and friends like you. These kids had the time of their lives this week and I am a changed woman!

Hopefully I will write more from Siem Reap (Anghor Wat) tomorrow! I love you and miss you all! God Bless!!!!
x0x0

Lunch Break

2008-12-09T00:22:00.002-05:00

So i got a couple minutes... well like 20 (thats what I need to get this internet working)!

I just wanted to say I started to cry a little bit this morning. See every morning we act out a Bible story with the kids. Yesterday it was "give it to Jesus!" Today it was "Everyone has something to give." The kids love it! They scream and laugh at our customes! :-) We get it on video so you guys will be able to see it once I get home. But anyways... we sing before and after the Bible story. Well I got up to show them the motions to "Lord I lift your name on high!" We didnt think they knew it yet... but were we wrong! As soon as Chris started playing the guitar they were singing on top of thier lungs. If you dont know the song, there is a part "You came from Heaven to Earch to show the way, from the cross to the grave, my debt to pay, from the grave to the sky... LORD I LIFT YOUR NAME ON HIGH!" I teared up a biut during that part becuase they sing so loud and with such joy. I really cant explain it but it was one of the best feelings in my life! And then if you listen closely and concentrate on one kid at a time you can hear their little voice over all others. Gosh... its just sooo cool! Even the shy ones are singing sooo loud! And Chhinh... oh Chinnh. He is the love of my life. When we group out girls and boys he doesnt budge. :-)
I also have to little girls now that always wear skirts and their hair is braided so perfectly!!! Son and Syran!
Ok... gotta go eat! Love you all... ho0pefully I will write more later tonight!

God Bless!
PS and Mere... you made me cry with that comment on the last post! :-) I miss you!

xoxoxo

No words to explain...

2008-12-08T08:38:00.002-05:00

There is nothing I can really write here to describe what I am experiencing. THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING PLACE I HAVE BEEN TO IN THE WHOLE WORLD... this goes way beyond my expectations! The way I have explained to my team is the most TRAGICALLY BEAUTIFUL place. I MAY NEVER COME HOME!
First of all... if Jessica is reading this let me apologize for the spelling errors... the keyboards are strange, the internet is soooo slow, and the computers just DIE on you after so long. So I am typing very fast on a foreign keyboard. I was reading my last post and I wrote customers instead of customs... among a lot of other errors. :-)
Ok... back to whats important...
So on Sarturday morning we went to the school in Phenom Penh that was turned into the largest torture prison in Cambodia during the Khmer Rouge. Let me just say I cried my eyes out! The things these soldiers did to innocent people like anyone who expressed religion or education. Any one who worked for the prior governmnet... anyone who smiled or cried. Fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, sisters, borthers... NEWBORNS! Just totally sick! Pastor Vek's wife named Somerlyn brought us there and toured us around. Her stories were chilling... she explained what she and her husband and her 2 month old baby were experiencing during the time... they were evacutated from Phenom Penh and forced from field to field to work 16 hour days on a bowl of rice once a day. She told me when this all happened she was just 26. WOW! My age!!!
Goodness... so as soon as we got done there we jumped in our bus and started the 6 hour journey to Battambang! You can see in my last post I was totally dreading this ride... well GOD IS SO GOOD... this was the most humbling and beautiful thing to me. Basically all the people of Cambodia build their villages along the rode. I looked into the lives of the natives from the window of my bus. I waived (in between tears) to the people... THEY ALL SMILED SOOOOO BIG AND WAVED BACK! Some of the kids chased our bus... the others were headed home from school on their bikes... books in hand... so happy!!!! They live in these little huts... sometimes with just 2 or 3 walls... and sometimes with no roofs. They sit on their tables to EAT and lounge in their hammocks! IT IS SOOO AMAZING!!! I FELT SO ALIVE!!!! These people are just so friendly and sooo peaceful!
So we arrived in Battambang on Saturday night....
Sunday morning we woke up and went to church. The moment our bus pulled up the children came running out of the church! They were soooo excited! There were so much laughter and hands just pulling at every part of your body!!!! They performed some songs for us at church and during the message... they kept turning around to look at us with ear to ear smiles.
Since then we have been at the orphanage singing songs, playing games, running around, and even painting finger nails (dont worry this is just for the girls... well... with the exception of a couple of the boys! Hahaha)!
The kids just latch on to you every morning when you get off the bus. I have 3 that follow me pretty much everywhere... one, a little boy named Chhinh (pronounced ChingChing... this is how I think it is pronounced... but I am really bad at these names. The kids make so much fun of me everytime i say something wrong)! Well Chhinh LITERALLY does not leave my side the entire DAY! Always holding my hand... even when we are running. When I get on the bus in the evening he blows me kisses through the window and holds up his hands in a shape of a heart!!! OH MY... I am starting to cry! :-)
So its truly been a gift to be here... thank YOU so much for all your support and prayers. THIS IS A TRIP OF A LIFETIME... I love all of you... but I seriously DO NOT WANT TO COME HOME! :-)
I have already takin over 200 pictures... so much the shutter of my camera broke... so I cant zoom in or out anymore... but its ok because i am sooo happy and thankful! :-)

Internet seems to be running better today so hopefully I will be able to post every night... but you never know out here in the JUNGLE! :-)

TIll next time... take care and you are in my thoughts and prayers!!!!

XOXOXO

GREETINGS FROM CAMBODIA

2008-12-05T19:37:00.003-05:00

Well, 22 hours later we made it to Phnom Penh!!!!!!

Pastor Vek (the owner of the orphanage), his wife, one of the older orphan boys, our driver, and the translator were waiting right outside of customers for us with HUGE SMILES on their faces!!! THEY WERE SO HAPPY TO SEE US AND SOOO SWEET!!!!

The young orphan boy was ADORABLE! He roide in the back of the truck on TOP of all our luggage to make sure it didnt fall out! The whole time with the happiest grin on his face... I couldnt stop watching him!!!!

The place ride here was quite interesting! We flew Korean Air and thanks to my pilot dad I HAVE NEVER BEEN ON AN INTERNATIONAL FLIGHT IN COACH CLASS... haha! Call me spoiled I know, but when is a better time to try out coach than on a 16 hour flight to Seoul, South Korea... followed by 6 hrs to Cambodia!!!! It sure was an experience in its self!!! I managed to sleep a little, but I was sooo sore. The flight was confusing for me becuase they were serving breakfast when I should have been eating dinner and lunch in the middle of the night, etc... this time change is really hard for me! :-) So we got to the hotel about midnight (noon your time) and I fell asleep pretty much right away and slept till about 4am in the morning! It is 7:30 am now on Decemeber 6th. That makes it 7pm on the 5th for you guys! Confusing huh? We just had an interesting breakfast... all I ate was 2 boiled eggs and a piece of toast... I am going to stick to the red bull and granola bars i think! :-) YES I BROUGHT MY OWN RED BULL!!!! Haha!

So 24 hours of traveling... I really cant believe we are here. IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT that coach class seat! :-) I am just absolutely falling in love with the people of the country and by the grin on that little orphan boys face... I CANT WAIT TO MEET ALL THESE KIDS!!!!!! And it doesnt hurt that I have the most AMAZING team to share it with!!! We are all getting really close... I mean when you are sitting on top of each other on an airplane you really have no choice! :-)
My team is made up of 7 others:
Kira is so honest and real.
Carrie is just the biggest sweetheart you have ever met.
Tammy is our worl traveler... she knows what to and not to do!
Mandy has 5 kids back at home so she is like our caretaker. I look to her when I am lost or confused! :-)
Chris is like our BIG kid! He gets so excited at the littlest of things like a little boy on Christmas.
Jason is the leader of our trip and a leader he is! I feel so safe with him in charge of all of us!
And Jo, he LITERALLY ALWAYS has a huge grin on his face!!! It makes me smile!

Pastor Vek and his wife are sooo sweet. They have been married 35 years she told me... she wears a huge sapphire ring on her finger. They are taking us to the school in Cambodia which is the main prison where people were tortured during the Khmer Rouge and then to the Killing Fields.... it should be interesting. I cant wwait to hear more of their story too...

Since it was dark and late when we got in last night I didnt notice much... other than this is definately a 3rd world country. There were barely any cars and a lot of garbage on the street. I am going to go for a morning walk and then we have a devotional at 9am... then its off to the Killing Fields!

Once we get to Battambang (5 hour drive from here) this evening I will let you know about today!

PS and dont worry mom... I am not going for the walk by myself!!!! :-)

I love and miss you all!!!!!

GOD BLESS!!!!

xoxo

ONE MORE DAY!!!!!!!

2008-12-03T09:45:00.002-05:00

I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you all!!!!!!

Have a wonderful next couple weeks and GOD BLESS!!!! :-)

xoxo

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T19:45:00.003-05:00

So I leave in exactly one week! I cant believe it. I had a beautiful Thanksgiving with my family, my brother could have acted more like a grown up... but we cant ask for sooo much can we! :-)

Anyways Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends and family... if you are reading my blog you have been invited here by me because I love and care about you so much and I am so thankful for you in my life. Have a blessed rest of the day with your loved ones!

I think I can, I think I can...

2008-11-17T21:28:00.003-05:00

Well with 2 weeks to go and $270 left to raise... I am getting there. But it is not without its fair share of distractions and obstacles. Between recovering from my surgery, struggling to hit any kind of sales numbers in this drought of an economy, finishing up my graduate school paper, and getting home for Thanksgiving, I think He is testing me. :-)
I can make it though! You know what... I am doing everything I can, the rest is up to Him. Yep, thats right. For those of you who don't get the opportunity to go to my church that was our pastors message last week. "Why Worry?" Those who can look in your Bible he is talking about the message in Matthew 6:25-34. Basically translated into... "Hey! These times are tough... we WORRY a lot because of the economy, we are trying to get THAT job, or into the SCHOOL, trying to STAY healthy, or save a relationship, or finish a paper, I could go on and on for all of us... but basically all you can do is give it all you got (the things you worry about). Do whatever YOU can and after that release it all to God up there. Thats all you can do. He cares about you and He cares about me. He will take care of us... its been promised to us!!!" We just need to surrender our worries to Him... WOW! I always heard of SURRENDERING to Jesus... I never thought I could, I guess I never really understood what it meant? See what I thought was that was for the really "Holy" people... the "Jesus Freaks." :-) Well I think most of you would consider me a Jesus Freak right now and... well... I have never felt more empowered in my whole life... call me what you want... but just TRY IT! For one week... everything you worry about... just talk to Him... give it to Him... he can NEVER have enough on His plate. Your days will change and your thoughts and your worries will slowly be relieved.
It may be hard for some of you to pray... I am still learning. It is definitely the hardest part of this relationship with God. I talk to Him like he is my best friend... haha! Which I guess is exactly what He wants... the point is, my thoughts are ALL OVER the place and probably make no sense to anyone else... they barely do to me, but he hears EVERY word we say to Him and he wants to help. Just make the move. I DARE YOU!
Thanks for all your support and prayers. YOU ARE IN MINE! Now... back to that Grad school paper! :-)

PS If you want to hear more about "Why Worry" you can listen to it online. Please don't feel like you have to... It has just spoke a lot to me this week. MOM!!! This is a good one for you! :-) Kidding, kidding! http://www.buckheadchurch.org/messages.

xoxo

Its about Cambodia

2008-11-12T12:42:00.004-05:00

Its been a tough week for me... but I have to remember to let it all go... and focus on Him up there and what he is doing in my life!
Take a look:
http://blog.buckheadchurch.org/2008/11/11/its-not-about-buckhead-church-its-about-cambodia/

1/2 way there

2008-10-21T13:55:00.005-04:00

My family and friends have given so humbly... I have received $1500 so far from all of you!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND FUNDING of this trip. It really moves me to tears. I cant explain the excitement I have going to the mailbox everyday - I am like a little girl at Christmas times... EXCEPT this is a MILLION times better because this is not just a gift to me - there is a much bigger meaning to all of this... and a lot more little life's that will be touched because of all of you. Thank you so, so, so VERY MUCH! I CANT WAIT!!!!

I am so very grateful

2008-10-19T22:19:00.004-04:00

As I start receiving support from all of my friends and family I cant help to stop and think about how thankful I am for all of you. I am thankful to the support system around me who are sending their hard earned money and their most sweetest blessings. I am thankful for my family and my little sisters inspiring words - she doesn't know it, but she brings tears to my eyes a lot of the time. I am so grateful for my job and my boss who is so supportive of my dreams. I am thankful for the team of people that I will be traveling to Cambodia with. We are all still getting to know each other, but there is something special in all of us... and every time we meet it becomes more and more obvious that God put us all together for a very special reason.
Today when we met, we talked about Proverbs 16:9 which says "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." This verse is really important to me. I was trying to explain this to my group, but ended up just blabbing and probably confusing them all... haha! Typical of me huh?
Anyways... if you know me well, you know how much I like planning my days out, my weeks out, my months out... Oh who am I fooling I try to plan my whole life out! :-) And I pray to the Lord every morning to help me let go of all of this and give it all go to God. Its one of the hardest things for me to do... let go of control... or what I think is my control... but it is BY FAR THE MOST REWARDING THING YOU COULD DO. Between work, and school, and social life, the little things that you deal with everyday, and in preparing for this trip I pray to God everyday to help me let go and trust him. There is so much I want to do in life and a million places I want to be - but I know NOW that God will use me where he needs me, even if its not particularly where I want to be. And there WILL be obstacles along the way... and like my little sister said, so beyond her years, even when you release all control, there is an evil out there that will try to change your thinking and your faith... but YOU CANT LET IT!!! YOU MUST STAND STRONG!
So if you are reading this and praying is your thing, please keep me in your prayers that I can keep giving it all to God. And if you find yourself in the same place as me and sometimes its hard to give it all to Him... I will be praying for you. When it gets hard or you question God's intentions just remember my favorite Bible verse from when I was a little girl, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean NOT on your OWN understandings. In all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3: 5-6

THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL YOUR GENEROSITY, PRAYERS, and SUPPORT! It means the world!!!!

VISA, SHOTS, and PREPARATION

2008-10-10T10:49:00.002-04:00

I am filling out my VISA right now for Cambodia and figuring out what shots/vaccines I need to get from my doctor. How exciting! The trip is less than 2 months away!!! I cant believe I am really doing this!!! Especially since after yesterday my mom sent me a warning posted by the US Embassy:

The U.S.Embassy advises U.S. Citizens to avoid large public gatherings and crowded public areas. Land mines and unexploded ordnance are found in rural areas throughout Cambodia, especially in BATTAMBANG!!

Cambodia has a high crime rate, including street crime. Military weapons and explosives are readily available to criminals despite authorities' efforts to collect and destroy such weapons.Armed robberies occur frequently in Phnon Penh. Foreign residents and visitors are among the victims. Victims of armed robberies are reminded not to resist their attackers and to surrender their valuables, since any perceived resistance may be met with physical violence, including lethal force. LOCAL POLICE RARELY INVESTIGATE REPORTS OF CRIME AGAINST TOURISTS!!

Medical Facilities do not even meet international standards, that's real scary should you get sick or worse get the "bird flu." Check with your health insurance before you leave to confirm whether their policy applies overseas and weather it will cover emergency expenses such as a medical evacuation.

"Are you absolutely sure you want to do this ???? i for one am beginning to panic." (THAT WAS WRITTEN BY MY MOM)

The U.S. Embassy is located at No. 1, Street 96 (near Wat Phnom), Phnom Penh, Cambodia. The telephone number is (855-23) 728-000

I guess Uncle Tom and Aunt Karen were right... I am a little nuts... but GOD IS GOOD everyone and so there is no need to worry too much. My team and i... we are in his hands for this 2 weeks when we are over there. I AM SOO EXCITED!!!!

PS: Thanks for EVERYONE who is sending their prayers and support back to me... I most have the MOST gracious FAMILY and FRIENDS!
AMEN!

My letter of support

2008-09-09T09:21:00.007-04:00

Dear Friends and Family,

I am so excited to share with you that I will be taking part on the BIGGEST adventure of my life thus far. On December 4^th I will join 9 others from my Church as we venture into the jungles of Cambodia for 10 days. Our destination is a Cambodian orphanage that houses about 40 children. We are going to share Christ’s love for ALL people by giving our time and money as we spend time with the children and throw the orphanage and the community that surrounds a Christmas Party… how cool is that?!?!?! J

I cannot begin to express to you my excitement about this trip. I have always wanted to be a part of a mission trip, but have always hesitated and second guessed myself, for fear of traveling into countries who may not like Americans, meeting people who don’t know Jesus and don’t want to, and just not confident enough in myself, Jesus, or the word of God. In the past I felt like I had so many questions that I could not answer about Christianity. I have come to realize that it is NOT about having all the answers, I probably NEVER will! What it is about is a relationship… A relationship with Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior… and that, my friends and family, is the single most important aspect of my life today! I have grown into a relationship with Jesus Christ that I never thought was possible. Jesus has control of my life and all I want to do is scream from the rooftop his unconditional love, mercy, and grace that he has for me and for everyone else… no matter WHAT!!!! I was introduced to this relationship by Buckhead Church. When I moved to Atlanta in the summer of 2006, I started attending Buckhead Church… I started going by myself… can you believe that? Something just moved in me that that is where I needed to be. Since then this Church has inspired and challenged me in so many different ways. This is how I stumbled upon a mission trip to Cambodia… well actually I wouldn’t call it stumble upon… I truly believe that it is my time and it is where God wants me to be!!!

The people of Cambodia have been through hell. In the late 1970s, when America’s attention was on Vietnam, Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge implemented one of the most radical and brutal restructurings of society EVER attempted. Its goal was to turn Cambodia into a peasant dominated society. Within days the entire population of Phnom Penh and towns surrounding, including children, the sick and elderly were forced to march into the countryside and work 12 – 15 hour days as slaves. Disobedience of any sort or a sign of education or religion sought immediate execution. The Khmer Rouge reign lasted from 1975 to 1979 and estimated in anywhere from 2 -3 million deaths. Hundreds of thousands of people were executed in the most grotesque and bloodiest ways, the others died of famine and disease. To the Cambodian people, death seemed more like a relief from the horrors of life. The Khmer Rouge detached Cambodians from the world and the people from their families, food, fields, and their faith!!! And as if they hadn’t done enough harm to the citizens, towards the end of the reign of the Khmer Rouge, they dumped one landmine for every Cambodian citizen left alive in the jungles so the killing would continue even though their power was defeated by the Vietnamese.

It’s been almost 30 years since the Khmer Rouge and although still a 3^rd world country, contemporary Cambodia is well on its way to recovery. However, the nightmares and devastation from the past still haunt the citizens today. As most of the landmines have been destroyed, they are still out there taking lives. There are still large numbers of orphans lost in this country, and for the most part they are sold into the most horrifying sex trade that you could imagine. So this is where I can help!! Buckhead Church and North Point Ministries partnered with New Life Missions about 2 years ago. New Life Missions is a Cambodian Organization that plants Churches and uses them to manage orphanages (more information can be found at http://cambodianewlife.org/ordealhome.php). The orphans are taught the Bible and have been selected from area villages because of their specific needs and potential. They are carefully invested in and educated with the hopes that they will become the next generation of Christian leaders in Cambodian and go on to influence many more people. This is so important because Christians make up less than 1% of the population in Cambodia. The school has a 3 part mission statement: Take care of the children’s immediate needs (food, shelter, and love), educate and train them in marketable skills, and lead them into a growing relationship with God. And this is the exact purpose of our trip! J

There is no doubt in my mind that God turned the page of my bulletin that Sunday night to this opportunity for me. He put this opportunity and the people that will take part on this trip with me in my life for a reason! I intend to make the most of it and after many prayers, as I travel on a 16 hour flight and a 6 hour bus ride, I am going into a place where the living conditions are going to be different than anything I have ever experienced, where the people and children barely speak English. The excitement and honor that I have for this trip is again, truly unexplainable. I am taking an opportunity that most people never get a chance to take in this lifetime and TRY to grasp the part of God’s extraordinary love for people all over the world. And this is where your part comes in. Many of my friends and family have already expressed an interest in this trip and how they can help. What I am asking for is your prayers and support!!! Prayers for these orphans who have lost both of their parents… and perhaps their place in this world. Prayers for my team and me as we travel to the far other side of the world that we may have the ability to share God’s love. A prayer for these orphans, today, tomorrow, and forever that they find a relationship with Jesus Christ and have ability to spread his word in their growing country of Cambodia. And, most importantly, a prayer that we will do a wonderful thing for God and for the children of Cambodia.

In addition to praying for my team and me, if you feel like supporting me financially, I will definitely welcome it! Each member of the team has a goal is to raise $2,500 to cover travel expenses. Since this trip is close to Christmas, I am asking for my friends and family to contribute to this “Cambodian Christmas Mission” instead of any kind of Christmas gifts. Any amount will truly be a gift to me and the children at New Life Orphanage (and your contribution is tax deductible)!! If you would like to give, you can go online and pay by credit card, or if you prefer check payment, I have included a self addressed envelope. All donations must be received by November 9^th, 2008.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my letter and for your support through prayers and giving. I will keep you posted on the preparations I make for this trip and my day to day experience when I am over there serving through my blog: http://natalie-christmasincambodia.blogspot.com/.

I look forward to sharing with each of you what God is doing in Cambodia upon my return! God bless!!!

Gratefully,
Natalie Lawler

“If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and truth.”

1 John 3:17-18

Can a book really CHANGE YOUR LIFE?

2008-09-07T22:52:00.004-04:00

I have recently read a book that I wanted to share with all of you! Its called the Shack by William P. Young. It has nothing to do with Cambodia... its a Christian story about a man named Mack. His youngest daughter is kidnapped at a family camping trip and presumed dead. Mack and his family are overwhelmed with grief and anger. When a letter, apparently from God, invites him to the scene of a crime, Mack cant help but go and what he finds there changes him forever! I cant say too much more without spoiling the story... but listen! If you have ever wanted to read a book that will change your life and answer questions about yourself and God... this IS the BEST advice I could ever give to you! Please visit http://theshackbook.com/index.html to learn more and to order your own copy!!!

"The path to God is paved with questions—sometimes frightening and deeply painful ones. While reading The Shack I realized the questions unfolding in this captivating novel were questions I was carrying deep within me. True freedom is born from facing those things we feel we don’t have the courage or strength to face. The beauty of this book is not that it supplies the reader with easy answers to grueling questions, but that it invites you to come in close to a God of mercy and love, in whom we find hope and healing."
- Jim Palmer, author of Divine Nobodies

Where the story begins...

2008-08-25T21:48:00.004-04:00

This is where the story begins... what in the world made me want to travel half way across the world, miss 11 - 12 days of work and speak to children about God? To be honest with you... it just felt like the next step I was supposed to take. In fact it felt quite natural!
For those of you who don't know me... well, lets see you are probably not reading this if you don't know me... so for those of you who know me - first let me say thank you for being in my life - and here is my attempt to give you the gift of my story.
So I come from a Christian family, with a Catholic background. I went to mass every Sunday morning with my family when I was younger and was pretty much bribed to sit still in the pew with candy, late bedtime, or even a Slurpie from the 7-11. I never thought these Sunday traditions would come to an end... however, in my 6th grade year my family fell apart. To be honest with you I thought it was kind of cool at first... no more fighting, 2 different houses with 2 different bedrooms, 2 groups of neighborhood friends, 2 Christmases, and 2 family vacations. I could get away with things with my dad that my mom would kill me for and things with my mom that my dad would be so disappointed in. After the 1st couple months I began to blame myself for this disaster in which I thought I wished upon my family... therefore I had caused it. We didn't go to church anymore, which again at the time, thought was the best deal I could come across as a 12 year old, but then started to beg God for forgiveness for wishing or enjoying any part of this Hell. Some nights I laid awake listening to my mom cry or my dad moving around till all hours of the morning, obviously not able to sleep, thinking I really was in Hell. This is when I knew God was NOT listening and NOT going to forgive me for what i had done.... so I looked elsewhere. I played on the best soccer team, made the best grades, took care of my little sister and brother the best I could to make my parents happy. I just knew making them happy would make things better... even if they wouldn't get back together at least we could all be happy. I kept this up for a few years and realized... although they were my parents and they both loved me so much I never felt like I was good enough and they were not paying attention that much or would forgive me for what I did to my family.
So this take me to high school. I was angry with God and angry with my parents. I resented anything and EVERYTHING that symbolized either things. I was going to make it on my own!!! And I knew exactly what would make things better... BOYS! Oh goodness... we all know this is that LAST thing to making things better - right? So my Sophomore year in high school I met a boy at a football game. I never really had an interest in boys up till this point so these butterflies in my stomach threw me for a loop... and a LOOP it was. For the next 3 years I spent most of high school chasing a boy who would do nothing but stomp on my little heart and leave my first impression of what "love" as someone who is jealous, dishonest, manipulative, and selfish. Now this may seem a little harsh and it should be understood that we were both young and silly... but it was very damaging for me as a teenager because when I would hear people talk about the love God and your family has for you I was very confused and wanted nothing to do with that. Towards the end of high school I got involved in Young Life... it was a Christian club that some of my friends went to once a week after school. I thought it was a pretty cool place... and a great time to get out of the house to socialize with friends. We sang songs about Jesus and listened to people's stories and testimonies about Jesus... it was nice - one of the leaders was a woman, who still today I model myself after, but other than that I couldn't let IT in. Young Life was about a social thing for me until the last few months I spent a couple weeks at a couple different camps. I think I first felt Jesus here... but it didn't last. I would come home to hurtful things and I couldn't find Him... why did he leave me when I needed him? So as college approached I decided to TRULY take life into my own hands!!! I didn't need Him... or anyone for that matter.
I can remember like it was yesterday sitting in my dorm room decorated like Elle Woods from Legally Blonde would have decorated her room, watching my mom drive away. I cried so hard. I was at this college all by myself... ALL BY MYSELF! Its what I thought I wanted for so long... and now here it was. What in the world was I going to do?
The college story goes as this - I met some amazing people in my 4... or maybe 5 years or so of college. People who came into my life and have left lasting impressions - they are people who I have spent years with and people who i knew only a short time. They are people that became my family and taught me how to start piecing the pieces back together. My mom and I became closer and all though my family was still broken and i watched my little sister and brother go through all this crap they had to deal with, most of which was probably the aftermath of our brokenness - i missed my family. I was longing for something... i just didn't know what. I went through college controlling my fate... i had it all planned out... well so i thought.
2 years ago i moved to Atlanta and started my career in sales. Listen... I was in control!!! The next step was to make some money. I was pretty happy - I had met some new people already, connected with old friends from childhood, and was in the BIG city. Yet... something was still missing. Maybe it was family... yeah thats what it was? Wasnt it? My family visits became less and less chaotic... I would not go a day without speaking with mom, we became best friends. My little sister was growing up (well we both were) but she finally enjoyed talking to me and I enjoyed talking to her... and we could do so without arguing. My little brother looked up to me and I lived for that feeling. We were back to the "normal" family and YET SOMETHING WAS STILL MISSING. Was I missing the "boy" factor again? Well no... speaking of that, I had met a certain young man with dreams bigger than mine and the most beautiful blue eyes. I thought at first it would be a close friendship... but it developed into something so much deeper. Maybe this was it? Gosh! I had it all... nope... something WAS STILL MISSING. Girlfriends... maybe I needed more girlfriends - that, well that doesn't come as easy as family and boys for me for some reason :-) Although I only had enough true girlfriends to count on my right hand... they were the best kind of friends a girl could have. I have a joker, a healer, a fighter, a listener, and a good timer! :-) Thats what I call them!!! So... what was missing?
And then it hit me... a friend of mine told me about this "video" church. "Video church i questioned him in my head? Now why in the world would I go to a "video" church." So i let the thought creep in and then quickly out of my head... until one Sunday morning i woke up, showered, got dressed, looked in the mirror and literally (now some of you will believe me and some of will not) said, "I'm going back to church today!" Then, maybe this will make it a little more believable for you, I did a little dance around my room! :-)
So I went to this video church... the music brought tears to my eyes as we sang the words to a song - "Broken people call his name..." I will never forget the feeling. I was on to something with this video church thing. And just to get some of you up to date that aren't here in the Atlanta area. The church I went to that day... and go to today is called Buckhead Church - it is part of a bigger picture called NorthPoint ministries. North Point Church is in Alpharetta, GA and Andy Stanley (who i am convinced should be our next President) preaches. Well I don't know if you would call it preach... he teaches, he describes... he inspires. This was probably about a year and a half ago. And that brings the story to today:
I DID IT! I FINALLY FOUND WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR... I cannot begin to describe to you about the peace I have in my life. The world is crazy around me with work, the recession, the war, the chaos... and there is something I have found that makes it not matter that much. What is it you asked? It is God... it is Jesus... it is the Spirit!!!! I don't think i ever did NOT believe... well, yeah, there were times i very much doubted. But in this past year I have become a TRUE and FAITHFUL believer! Goodness... I never thought I would write things like this. It always seemed so "dorky!" Now don't get me wrong... with the help of my Church, my mom, my sister, my friends, my boyfriend and his family, and the Bible I am still learning what this Religion and this relationship is all about... but i have come a long way in just a year. I read the Bible and I pray... I PRAY! I never knew how to do this!!! I have given up CONTROL - again, some of you reading this may not believe it! :-) But I have... or I am trying to as much as possible! Its an amazing thing when you can truly do that, you know? Miracles happen!!!! :-)
So as you see... all my life i have been taking, taking, taking from Jesus. Even when I doubted him i was still taking... even today as i have formed a relationship with him and let him into my heart and soul... i am still taking. SOOO... it is my turn to GIVE! And this is why I am going to Cambodia!!!! This was the trip I was pointed towards by Jesus... and after yesterday afternoon when I met my team for the first time, it is the trip that He wanted me on. We are going to work in an Orphanage and bring Christmas to these orphans and the community they live in!!! How EXCITING!?!?! I will be able to share the LOVE of Jesus with them. I will help them see the BIG picture and bring hope to them! Maybe, just maybe, they will be better off because they will see the love of God withing me... or maybe i will see it in them? I will share this experience with 9 other amazing people, that although they don't share my story, they have stories for themselves and we have all been brought together for a reason! WOW!! AMEN!!!!
Until next time I will be praying for you...